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Bad news is that according to Stephen Hawking if aliens ever reach earth they will eat us alive or treat as badly as Columbus did the natives. The good news is that if we get rid of all the ketchup on the globe we might be safe, as we taste pretty bland without ketchup. And there is no rush to start throwing away ketchup away as we have a few hundred million years before aliens visit us. By then we will be either extinct or gone to another planet anyway.
Also don't forget we can ask our politicians to deal with them. They will get them so utterly confused as to whom to vote for that they will forget to eat us. Moreover we will put our Wall Street guys/gals to work and they will sell them many ponzy schemes. The aliens will be so worried about themselves that they won't bother eating us.
Finally Teabaggers may be right that British healthcare is not as good as we thought. Hawking is not receiving proper treatment and it is messing up his judgement as a scientist. Maybe he should be sent to the US for better care – surely he should have a lot of money to pay for such a treatment as he has been such a prominent scientist for so long.
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